Mimosas with Ben Jonson

II. To my Book.

It will be look'd for Book, when some but see
They Title, Epigrams, and nam'd of me,
Thou Shoul'd be bold, licentious, full of gall;
Wormwood, and sulphur, sharp, and tooth'd withall,
Become a petulant Thing, hurl Ink, and Wit
As Mad-men Stones: not caring whom they hit.
Deceive their Malice, who could wish it so.
And by the wiser Temper, let Men know
Thou art not Covetous of least Self-Fame,
Made from the hazard of another's Shame.
Much less, with leud, prophane, and beastly Phrase,
TO catch the Worlds loose Laughter, or vain Gaze.
He that departs with his own Honesty
For vulgar Praise, doth it too dearly buy.

Very early on in Ben Jonson's Epigrams he does a wonderful job describing the essence of an epigram. An epigram makes the point of fixating on a single moment and Jonson speaks clearly to the intent he wants each inclusion to be. He encourages his weird little poems to be insulting, to make anyone and everyone uncomfortable. It could be easily argued that the Epigrams are a childish indulgence of whining, and I would agree with that argument. Jonson takes aim at the pettiest of human interactions along with the poorly timed come back moments. No one is safe from his rhymed schemed wit, expect for his financial backers. Despite being the pettiest of petty original mean girls, I have to say that I'm into his style. Jonson is the kind of guy I want to go out to brunch with because I know he's going to spill the tea. Would I worry he'd write one about me? Of course I would be worried. Jonson's use of the epigram is the predecessor of vague-tweeting, he is the heart of every early 2000's "Truth Box" on MySpace pages. Jonson might not have been the classiest of fellows by spouting off his insults for everyone to hear and gossip over but we cannot escape the value of the day to day insights he contributed to history. Jonson shows that being petty and dreaming up the perfect comeback will never go out of style.