Now I Ain't Sayin' He's a Gold Digger: Strephon to Celia. A Modern Love Letter by Mary Leapor

I hope you'll think it's true
I deeply am in love with you (1-2)

And though 'tis true I'm something better,
Yet I can hardly spell my letter:
And as the latter you may view
I hope you'll think the former true. (7-10)

That scorch my forehead to a cinder,
And burn my very heart to a tinder. (17-18)

Your hands (no wonder they have charms) (21)

Your teeth -- though numbers out of spite
May say they're bones -- yet 'twill appear
They're rows of pearls exceeding rare. ( 26-29)

I hear you have ten thousand pound:
But that as I a trifle hold,
Give me your person, dem your gold;
Yet for your own sake 'tis secured,
I hope -- your houses to insured (30-34)

You've wealth enough 'tis true, but yet
You want a friend to manage it.
Now such a friend you soon might have, (37-39)

Or Else this very moment dies-- (47)

The speaker of the poem, Strephon, lays it on pretty thick as he expresses his affections. He says, /I hope you'll think it's true / I deeply am in love with you/ (1-2) this is a solid way to open a love letter. But he quickly makes some observations that show where his real interest lie.

He notes the women's hands and in a slight aside says /no wonder they have charms/ (21), referring to the rings on her fingers. He calls her teeth /rows of pearls exceeding rare/ (28), while teeth have been called pearls, it is a little strange to mention that they are "exceeding[ly] rare". It turns them from a moderate luxury to an even more expensive one. For some reason he thinks it is enduring to point out that he has heard she "[has] ten thousand pound" and he "a trifle" (30-31). The world “trifle” meaning “An insignificant quantity or amount” (trifle, n), which is to say, he has no money. Kudos for the honesty but he really is failing at selling himself.

He goes on to explain that she must want a "friend" to take care of her estate and essentially says that friend is going to be him.

For me this poem is less striking in comparison to Swift’s “The Lady’s Dressing Room” or Montagu’s “The Reasons that Induced Dr. S. to Write a Poem Call’d the Lady’s Dressing Room”. The imagery in this poem is much less shocking (Swift) or biting (Montagu) as found in the others. The subtleties of Montagu’s piece challenges stereotypical gender rules as applied by Swift. It could be argued that Leapor does the same by having a male “gold digger”, however, the idea of a male opportunist or thief does not feel out of the ordinary. We have examples of opportunistic “gold diggers” prior to the poem, such as, Petruchio from Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew. The Oxford English Dictionary’s examples of the slang “gold digger” starts in 1916 and while their definition does attribute the term to females, the entry also attributes the term as American. By removing the modern influence of the situation, it seems that this is not necessarily a gender role reversal.

Leapor does use meter to introduce some of the clues to Strephon’s deception. While most lines have eight syllables, the few couplets that contain nine seem to mark his lies. The only line that is catching is the final one /Or else this very moment dies/ (47). This changes the tone of the poem, from one of ulterior motives to one of desperation. It is clear that Strephon is not sly in his wooing; his unorthodox mentioning of his and Celia’s differing monetary holdings could be read as accidental. If Strephon is truly so poor that he seeks out Celia and fumbles his love letter so badly, it is possible his situation is worse than he claims. If he could at “this very moment die” because of his poverty, then it would make sense why he “accidentally” brings up Celia’s money. At first glance Strephon seems like a gold digger by our modern standards. However, he might just be that desperate.